Review: ‘Bullet to the Head’

bullet-to-the-head-poster

Adapted from a French graphic novel, “Bullet to the Head” is an action movie that works as something of a throwback to the action films of the late 70s and 80s, though it has its fair share of modern touches to bring it in line with modern action movies, for both better and worse.

The story is some nonsensical mess about an aging hit man named Jimmy “Bobo” Bonomo (Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables 2, Rocky Balboa) who does a hit as contracted and then immediately gets set up by his employer, which results in the death of his hit man partner for whom Jimmy Bobo seemed to have some sort of affinity. So he sets out to find out the who’s and the why’s of the whole set up and to kill whomever is responsible. This includes the gigantic rival hit man Keegan (Jason Mamoa, Conan The Barbarian), and they build up nicely to the eventual one on one battle between the two assassins (and as shown in all the trailers and commercials, it’s an axe battle. Because why not). And to liven things up, out of town cop Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang, Fast Five) shows up and offers to help Jimmy Bobo get some answers in exchange for a tour through the criminal underworld so he can find the guys that set everything up. Because why not.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Parker’

Jason Statham as Parker in 'Parker'

Jason Statham as Parker in ‘Parker’

Who ordered the half-baked Jason Statham movie? We got a big steaming order of generic, run of the mill Jason Statham movie here, we know somebody must have asked for this thing, right? From the director of “Ray” and “An Officer and a Gentleman?” Because that makes sense. That must be the only reason why this latest in the long string of bland, interchangeable Jason Statham action movies was actually made. Are guaranteed $7-10 million opening weekends and middling at best critical responses enough to do it? Cause that’s what his movies like “Safe,” “Killer Elite” and “The Mechanic” bring in, and “Parker” is no different.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Zero Dark Thirty’

Looking saucy while looking for terrorists...

Looking saucy while looking for terrorists…

What an intense movie. “Zero Dark Thirty” (a title which never, ever gets explained at any point or in any way) starts out with audio snippets of emergency calls from New York City on September 11, 2001, and after sixty to ninety grueling seconds of this we finally cut to our film’s first scene – an intense interrogation in which a Saudi fella gets what is known in the industry as “the business,” brutal treatment and humiliation only stopped so that questions could be shouted at him. And off we go, an epic movie about the multinational manhunt for infamous terrorist Osama Bin Laden, and while it starts off quite grueling, it eventually settles into the familiar rhythm of a typical political thriller, albeit with the added dimension of this being based on a very true and very well known event in our very immediate history.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Broken City’

Broken City

Broken City

In the grand tradition of the political investigative thrillers of the 1970s, “Broken City” is a throwback to those movies about corrupt city officials making shady deals while some sap is hired to do some small task, only to have that sap get to peek behind and attempt to throw the whole thing out of whack. Cause you see, these saps never like being used as saps, and it pisses ’em off when it does. This goes beyond the 1970s, think of the pot-boiled detective novels of the 30s/40s, in which the down on their luck detective get hired to do some dirty work, only to discover the work was far dirtier than they were led to believe, causing them to have to dig deep to make sure things get sorted out correctly. That’s “Broken City.”Continue Reading …

Review: ‘The Last Stand’

Come with me if you want meager box office returns...

Come with me if you want meager box office returns…

Making his return to what made him popular to begin with, Arnold Schwarzenegger is back in his first leading role in an action movie in ten years, this time playing not a homicidal cyborg from the future nor an undercover cop disguised as a kindergarten teacher nor a barbarian nor a pregnant man but a small town sheriff, presiding over a workforce comprised of three deputies keeping watch over a town that seems to consist of one main street and one intersection, on which every business is conveniently located. To say that Arnold’s newest action movie is a small one is a bit of an understatement, but what better way to make your once and future action star seem larger than life all over again?Continue Reading …