Darren Aronofsky’s “Noah” is here after a couple years of anticipation, and this is just about the weirdest, most off-kilter, non-mainstream mainstream movie to come out in theaters since “Watchmen” in 2009. I can only imagine what some people were thinking when less than ten minutes into this very short but well known biblical tale the idea of fallen, multi-limbed angels encased in rock gets introduced and then relied upon heavily throughout the film. Definitely don’t remember giant rock ex-angels in Sunday School. Yet here they are. Okay, let’s back up a bit.

So this Aronofsky fella, he makes a bunch of incredible low budget movies, one of em finally hits and makes some coin, and he finally finds himself able to get his apparent dream project off the ground, which is a big screen version of the Noah story, one that takes up very a couple of pages in the Bible, yet is pretty well known by everyone: God made the world and he made Man. Man got all corrupt and evil, so God was like “time to shake this etch-a-sketch” and he told Noah to make a boat, put two of each animal on it, and ride out the flood that will destroy everyone else. Which Noah did. And then his family somehow repopulated the Earth. Pretty straightforward, not really much there, so why are we even going here with this movie? Didn’t we already get “Evan Almighty?” Isn’t that enough?Continue Reading …