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Review: ‘The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug’

Here we go again, yet another nearly three-hour journey through the world of Middle Earth, as filtered through the sensibilities of Peter Jackson, filled with swords and monsters and walks over mountains and sorcery and all that other good stuff. This time we got “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug,” and what can we say about this movie that has not been said already in one way or another in one of the four previous Hobbit-Lord of the Rings related movies?

I can say this: enough already! And I did not say that before about the original trilogy based on The Lord of The Rings, because those movies were interesting and compelling and filled with danger and excitement and newness, and now all of these years later I just don’t give a shit about a bunch of dwarves and their quest to reclaim their homeland because we already saw a huge battle of good versus evil for the entirety of Middle Earth. I didn’t care about these dwarves a year ago, I don’t care about them now and I won’t care about them a year from now when the final (thank GOD!) Hobbit movie is released.

Yet here we are, we sat through another one of these things, despite the fact that the magic is gone. Splitting a 300-page book into three separate three-hour movies seemed like a bad idea when it was first announced, and now that we are two-thirds of the way through these movies…it still does not seem like the best idea ever. Really, if need be, the story of Thorin and his dwarf buddies could have been told over two movies, that would have been acceptable, but goodness gracious this was so not necessary. For example, there’s a ten to fifteen minute sequence in the movie in which the dwarves are captures by elves and we get to see Legolas again and his father whines and complains about something and refuses to help Thorin and just acts like a dick. And it is so boring!Continue Reading …

CCN – December 2013

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Cinema Crespodiso presents CCN, a monthly show about everything other than movies. You know, all sorts of random things like news, and celebrity bullshit and whatnot. Pretty much whatever the hell host Chris Crespo wants to talk about at any given time, with whatever slant he wants to put on them. Co-hosted by Drewster Cogburn.

Things discussed in this episode include:

New Jersey waitress gay slur fraud. Drew is befuddled.

Racist graffiti hoax in Massachusetts. Drew is surprised.

Fox News host stands behind “Santa is white” comment but concedes just a little to her “Jesus is white” comment. Drew is perplexed.

Is affluenza real? Drew is enraged.

60-year old Italian man legally allowed to be with 11-year girl. Drew is enraged.

WBC Heavyweight champion Vitali Klitschko vacates title to focus on Ukrainian politics. Drew is bored.

Missouri woman steals $300K from her own church. Drew is not shocked.

Wisconsin dairy farm busted for animal cruelty. Drew is unfazed.

Upstate New York kids smell bad, pre-K teacher addresses problem. Drew flips the script.

Alabama man kills roommate after argument over television. Drew can relate.

Mississippi vandals destroy public art. Drew is perplexed.

Illinois ambulance driver charged with DUI in Chicago. Drew brings up a movie.

Ohio Police Chief’s wife jailed for shoplifting. Drew was hoping for prostitution.

Delaware company shuts down without informing employees. Drew can relate.

North Carolina middle school worker popped for child porn. Drew is not shocked.

Pennsylvania newlyweds “just wanted to murder someone together.” Drew likes this story.

Maryland man stabs neighbor with a box cutter. Drew is not shocked.

South Dakota man is the worst of the worst of the worst. Everyone is disgusted.

Naked Utah man bites police dog. Drew is amused.

Central Florida craft beer scene featured in New York Times article. Drew agrees.

Chris hates on the loss of physical media in favor of instant streaming. Drew sympathizes.

Chris loves Pearls Before Swine and Get Fuzzy. Drew can relate.

During the outro they talk about: a North Dakota man brings a knife to a department store stick up, an Oklahoma City police station confused a burrito for a bomb and a Seattle barber stabs a customer in the testicles.

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Netflix pick for 12/17/13 – ‘Desperado’

If you have not seen “Desperado” yet, then have we got a spicy treat for you. Robert Rodriguez’ 1995 sequel to his 1992 break out super low-budget surprise movie “El Mariachi” is a sequel in all the right ways, in that it hits a lot of the same beats as the first film, but adds some new stuff and also turns everything up to eleven (usually thanks to an enlarged budget), making for something even cooler, slicker and bigger than the original. And when you can upgrade to Antonio Banderas for your leading man, you jump all over that, it’s a win for everyone, right? (sorry, original mariachi/desperado Carlos Gallardo).

This is a fun movie, mixing elements of revenge thrillers with spaghetti westerns and the low-budget Spanish exploitation filmmaking that Rodriguez started out in to get his beak wet all to much aplomb and great skill. It is almost a shame the Rodriguez is now making either kids movies or throwback films that are “trying to be bad,” so to speak, because when he got started in the 90s he was looking like the next John Woo, but with PASSION. Just watch how fun and sexy and cool this movie is and tell me he’s spending his time wisely with Spy Kids movies. (well, financially that’s his money maker so I get it but still you know what I mean).Continue Reading …

#49 – Swampodiso

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In episode 49, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn are joined by returning guest Big Mike from The Curtis Earth Show on WPRK 91.5 fm and SwampPatrol.com, and they have quite a bit to talk about!

Discussed in this episode:

Big Mike recaps the gator hunting season and talks about the 110-year old gator he caught one night.

The Netflix Instant Pick of the Week is Desperado.

The box office weekend recap includes reviews of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug from Chris and Drew, plus there is talk of Marvel movies, The Hunger Games, Disney animated movies and Tyler Perry Madea films.

Chris talks about the best December opening weekends of all time.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Out Of The Furnace’

“Out of the Furnace” is a good movie, though it does fall short of greatness because of over familiarity. With elements of revenge films, movies about depressed blue collar towns in America, and stories about struggling families, there is little that feels new or fresh or original with “Out of the Furnace“. But there’s nothing new about chicken parmigiana yet if it is made well, it can’t be beat, right? So “Out of the Furnace” is like a meal you’ve had plenty of times before, and while it may not excite you, you still appreciate that it’s well made and with the highest quality of ingredients.

This is a story about a couple of brothers, Russell Baze (Christian Bale) and his younger bro Rodney (Casey Affleck). They live in Braddock, PA, which is a dying little town on its last legs, as rumors of the mill being shut down looms over everyone like the Sword of Damocles, and tragedy hits the Baze family pretty hard early on, and then gets compounded thanks to some unfortunate circumstances mixed with bad decisions. Soon enough, Russell has to deal with his girlfriend leaving him (Zoe Saldana) and his brother getting mixed up in a bad way with a local bookie (Willem Dafoe) and a violent criminal New Jersey hillbilly (Woody Harrelson). Round out the cast with always reliable actors Sam Shepard and Forest Whitaker and you got a movie that hums with life and meaning, even if its not saying anything original or deeply profound.

Because there is some stuff in here about the depressed American economy, thanks to both the setting and the very specific 2008 pre-presidential election setting, but nothing is really SAID about this state of the economy, it is just the setting for the story. Likewise, Rodney is a soldier with four tours of duty in Iraq under his belt, and he’s got both PTSD from the tours and he’s struggling to find work back in the States, but again, there is not much to distinguish this war veteran from other war veterans from other movies featuring characters like this.Continue Reading …

The Crespodisco #3 – The Good The Odd and The Weird

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In Crespodisco Number Three, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn talk about five bands/artists that they feel should have been more popular but they never were, or bands that have members that come from more popular bands. Enjoy!

Netflix pick for 12/9/13 – ‘Zoolander’

Who would have thought that Ben Stiller, of all the things he has done with his career and all the things he became famous for over the years, would excel the most at being a director? Sure people see Ben Stiller and they immediately think of all his most popular movies like the “Meet the Parents” films and “Night at the Museum” and whatnot, but the REAL talent of the man lies in his abilities behind the camera. A shining example of this skill is this week’s Netflix Instant Pick of the Week, “Zoolander.”

Made in a pre-2001 world, “Zoolander” is about a male fashion model who gets unwittingly recruited to be an assassin all “The Parallax View” style, and it is a crazy, satirical movie that skewers the fashion industry and the world of models, and there are moments here and there with a touch of the surreal that just makes this movie so weird and different and fun. And since at least 2008, Ben Stiller has talked about working on “Zoolander 2” but that’s not necessary, we can all just enjoy this great little comedy, and we can patiently wait for the next Ben Still directorial effort.Continue Reading …

#48 – Find Your Lane

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In episode 48, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn are joined by returning guest Carl Verna (Follow him on Twitter at @videoverna), and they talk about anything and everything as related to the movie world, and Carl also keeps the guys in the loop on some of his latest projects.

Discussed in this episode:

What has Carl been up to?

The Netflix Instant Pick of the Week is Zoolander.

Ben Stiller as a director.

Can Vince Vaughn be a leading man in a movie?

Why do the ladies love Thor?Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Oldboy’

Well Spike Lee’s “Oldboy” is not necessarily an easy movie to review (hence the small delay in writing this), as the 2003 South Korean thriller of the same name and which Spike Lee and screenwriter Mark Protosevich remade (or “reinterpreted,” as Mr. Lee insists) has become one of the more popular non-American films to storm the U.S. in the last decade, and more personally, remains fairly high on my own list of awesome movies which everyone else should watch and appreciate. So how can I look at this new “Oldboy” as its own thing? It does not exist in a vacuum.

But is it really fair to compare the two movies? To be honest, I am pretty much unable to imagine this movie existing on its own, which means I can not imagine what other people would think when they see this movie for the first time without having seen the South Korean original. Would they be baffled by this movie? How would the ending hit them? Does the movie even make sense?

This last question is kind of important, as Spike Lee recently confirmed that this movie was taken out of his hands after he turned in a cut of the film that ran for two hours and twenty minutes and it was cut down to 105 minutes without any of his input or blessing (Lee also shot down the rumor that the film at one point had a three-hour runtime). No movie can survive a 35 minute trim to the story without suffering, and I really want to know what was cut, although I do have my suspicions based on what was actually screened for audiences. Will people understand the motivations behind the different characters? Will they be confused when people are angry at each other in one scene and then they are helping each other in the next scene without any rhyme or reason or connection to what came before?Continue Reading …

Dr. Drew’s Two Cents – Comic Books

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In this edition of Dr. Drew’s Two Cents, Drewster Cogburn takes a journey through the world of comic books, taking along co-host Chris Crespo and the listeners with him.

Discussed in this episode:

Comic books from childhood, first getting into comics.

DC versus Marvel and alternative comic book publishers.

Comic of the 1990s.

Drewster stopped reading comics for a while in the early 2000s…why?

Drewster gets back into comic books…why?

No more monthly comics for Drew, just graphic novels.Continue Reading …