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Review: ‘R.I.P.D.’

Well that was a big old waste of everyone’s time and money. I would add “effort” to the list of items of things wasted in the making and viewing of this movie, but sadly that seems to be the one thing that wasn’t even deployed in the first place in the making of “R.I.P.D.”

Hmmm, maybe that’s a little harsh. Let’s start with some positives.

“R.I.P.D.” is a movie about a police department for the dead. When Boston PD veteran and kind of dirty cop Nick (Ryan Reynolds, Safe House, The Change Up) gets killed in the line of duty, he’s given a choice – he can face judgment and the likely scenario of eternal damnation, or he can join the Rest In Peace Department, which is filled with dead lawmen whose job it is to make sure that the dead stay dead, as some of these bad souls escape judgment and manage to continue living on Earth with all us alive people.Continue Reading …

Netflix pick for 7/22/13 – ‘Shotgun Stories’

From 2007, “Shotgun Stories” exists as proof of several things, namely that American cinematic film making is alive and well, and that original and interesting stories can still be told without a budget over $200 million and the special effects and baggage that come with such productions, and of course what we all already know by now, that Michael Shannon is one of the most compelling actors working today.

“Shotgun Stories” is a low budget little gem about a some half-brothers and their blood feud due to their disparate feelings over their newly deceased mutual father. Things get said, insults get hurled, violence becomes an option, and the rest is a mess of a bad ole time for everyone involved. Violence can beget a pretty vicious cycle, after all, but can one see the cycle coming and do anything to stop it? Should it be stopped? Or should we all yield shotguns in case someone starts disagreeing with us?Continue Reading …

#28 – Time is an Ocean

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In episode 28, Chris and Drew review RIPD and RED 2, they talk about the new Netflix Instant Pick of the Week, they do the box office recap, and they talk about Trance coming out on DVD and The Wolverine hitting theaters next weekend. And the Crespodome is jam packed with movie news and reviews, and also features a brand new Crespodome intro!

Things discussed in this episode include:

Chris and Drew appeared in episode 17 of “SBKLIVE with Kevin, Matt and Angel” the podcast.

Chris appeared in episode 81 of “Corrupting the Kids” the podcast.

The introduction of the “Crespodiso Film School.” Chris and Drew watched All The President’s Men, The Sting and Dracula.

Chris and Drew both review the documentary Indie Game: The Movie.

Terrence Malick is being sued for a movie he didn’t make.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Red 2’

I need to write this stuff down now because it will all be forgotten very soon, even though I walked out of this movie just a few hours ago. As “Red 2” started and we get thrust back into the life of retired CIA operative Frank Moses (Bruce Willis, A Good Day to Die Hard), I quickly realized that I couldn’t remember a single thing about the first movie and what that story was about or why anyone did anything or why the characters acted the way they did. It was all a distant blur of a memory of a movie, and it is obvious now that “Red 2,” while entertaining enough, will go down the same path of temporal lobe obscurity.Continue Reading …

Netflix pick for 7/15/13 – ‘Blood and Bone’

I am too lazy to check, but I am pretty sure that “Blood and Bone” is the first direct-to-video movie to be a Netflix Instant Pick of the Week, but it was bound to happen, especially with the increase in quality in these DTV films recently. So here we are, a kick ass action movie featuring a bad ass lead performance, criminally underseen due to its lack of exposure, but ready for you to put on right now, sit back, relax and enjoy the pugilistic mayhem.

“Blood and Bone” should have been made in the 1980s, though if it was made back then it would have starred Jean Claude Van Damme, as the very basic story fits right into the mold of those awesome action movies. A lone, mysterious bad ass dude (played by Michael Jai White, Black Dynamite) forces his way into an underground fighting circuit, and he battles his way through fighter after fighter, and really what else do you need to know? The fight scenes are awesome, well shot, and I love how Michael Jai White’s character does each fight with his big ole boots, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen a leading character do before in a fighting movie like this. Looks like those huge boots would make things even more painful.Continue Reading …

#27 – No Oddjob

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In episode 27, Chris and Drew are joined by Big Mike from SwampPatrol.com and the Curtis Earth Show, and they talk about everything from new movies to delicious gator meat, there’s a new Netflix Instant Pick of the Week, a competitive round of Drewster Cogburn vs the World, and of course a good old fashioned lightning round!

Things discussed in this episode include:

Action movies going straight to home video.

Big Mike’s preference of watching movies at home instead of at the theater.

Video games, Playstation vs Xbox, and porn on HD DVD.

The box office review includes a review of Pacific Rim from Chris and Drew.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Pacific Rim’

This is how it is done, at least when it comes to the big budget summer blockbusters that come out weekly every year, the new bloated staples of modern American entertainment. Just as big and loud and sometimes even just as dumb, “Pacific Rim” still manages to stand tall over most other big budget movies of this ilk. It’s fun, playful, and takes old ideas and makes them seem new and wonderful, and while this thing won’t be for everyone, it will still delight many people who take pleasure in watching giant monsters fighting giant human-operated robots in magnificent battles both above and below the ocean.Continue Reading …

Netflix pick for 7/8/13 – ‘Chinatown’

Okay, some of you are going to be all like, “Chinatown? What the fuck, man? Think I’m an idiot? I’ve seen this movie already! This pick ain’t that special!” To which I say, relax broheem, we’re all good. This pick ain’t for you and it ain’t for me. No sir, this pick…this pick is for the kids.

See kids (cause I know you’re out there reading this shit and listening to Cinema Crespodiso), back before you were born in the 1990s, movies were still being made, you dig? And in 1974, the incredibly awesome “Chinatown” was unleashed upon the world. Made during a time when film noir movies stopped being all the rage (a time which persists to this very day), “Chinatown” is the most bad ass film noir movie you will ever see, kiddies.

What is film noir, you’re asking? Just know that it has to do usually with a private detective, a damsel in distress, and a conspiracy that is usually way too big for the the private eye, but he takes it on anyway. Add a lot of shadows and a gloomy atmosphere and mood, a dire outlook on life itself, and BOOM! you got yourself some noir.Continue Reading …

#26 – Reverse Lightning

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In episode 26 of Cinema Crespodiso, Chris and Drew review The Lone Ranger, they get into the Netflix Instant Pick of the Week Chinatown, they talk about the records broken by Kevin Hart and Man of Steel, and they recap the Box Office top five for the 4th of July weekend. There is also a new Drewster Cogburn vs The World and a tricky Lightning Round for Drew!

Also in this episode:

New movies on DVD and in Theaters

Chris and Drew talk about Tyler Perry and his hatred of women, The Host (not the South Korean one, the more recent one), Tiny Fey in a rom com with Paul Rudd, the horribly titled (and pretty bad) Dead Man Down, and the very awesome Spring Breakers.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘The Lone Ranger’

Man did this thing go pretty awry. Disney’s “The Lone Ranger” was surely made with the idea that they could make a whole new billion-dollar-a-picture franchise with this old school property (because that’s how Disney and companies of their ilk sees stuff like this anyway, not as art or craft, but as property and franchises, like fast-food), and their reasoning behind giving the project to the group of guys behind the successful “Pirates of the Caribbean” films made sense on paper. After all, if Gore Verbinski could turn a theme park ride into a well-liked movie, then imagine what he could do with something with a rich history in radio, television, movies and comic books, going all the way back to 1933. What could go wrong with this set up?Continue Reading …