While we recently threw some shade on the crappier movies of 2013, I get more pleasure talking about the all the movies from the previous year that I just loved. So here is part 1 of my top ten of 2013, come back here tomorrow for part 2!
The Worst Movies of 2013
It would not be the internet without some snark and pessimism, so let’s throw some shade on some of the poorer productions of 2013. Because what better way to celebrate millions of dollars and thousands of hours of moviemaking then to sit here on my high horse and just shit all over all of it. So here comes some hate.Continue Reading …
Op-ed: Why we should reserve judgement on Robocop 2014
None of your favorite movies or genuine film classics are sacred, not enough for people to not try remaking them in some way, shape or form. We’re just going to move on to what really matters in this particular instance, savvy?
So the teaser trailer for the remake-reboot-whatever of the 1987 movie “Robocop” hit the interwebz recently with a resounding plop, as nerd-os and geeks ahoy decided to watch the trailer one time and promptly shit all over it (*ahem*).
Holy cow the Robocop remake looks FUCKING TERRIBLE http://t.co/JE8WLOOhmF like SyFy channel bad. #Robocopnado
— Chris Crespo (@IAmChrisCrespo) September 6, 2013
Talking Trailers: Ridley Scott’s ‘The Counselor’
Acclaimed author Cormac McCarthy has hit novel-to-movie adaptation pay dirt lately, what with his books No Country for Old Men and The Road both being made into films, and recently someone got him to write his first straight up screenplay, an original story meant only to be made into a movie, and that movie is Ridley Scott’s “The Counselor.”
When boiled down into a log line, “The Counselor” seems very simple: a lawyer (Michael Fassbender) decides to get into the drug dealing business to make a little extra money, and of course things go wrong. But then again, a quick synopsis of either “No Country For Old Men” (a man finds a briefcase full of money) or “The Road” (a man and his son try to survive in a world destroyed by nuclear weapons) would make it seem as if those movies are very simple stories, when we all know that they both have a lot to offer, especially the fantastic NCFOM. So while the plot synopsis is simple, the below recently released trailer hints at a wild movie in which Fassbender’s lawyer character will go down the rabbit hole of danger, betrayal and who knows what else.Continue Reading …
Talking Trailers: Spike Jonze’s ‘Her’
Any year we get a new Spike Jonze movie is a good year, which means when November 20, 2013 comes around, this year will officially be “good,” because that is the scheduled release date for “Her,” Spike Jonze’s new movie about an anti-social fella who falls in love with a voice on a computer.
This anti-social fella is played by Joaquin Phoenix, who took a short break from acting so he could “retire” and focus on being a hip hop artist (all shown in the Casey Affleck-helmed mockumentary “I’m Still Here“), and now he’s back in full force it seems, especially after that incredible performance in last year’s “The Master,” and it looks like he has another one under his belt, as the below trailer for “Her” is very compelling and pretty much looks like what one would expect from the maker of “Being John Malkovich” and “Adaptation.”Continue Reading …
Talking Trailers: ‘Escape Plan’ is coming, but is it 20 years too late?
“Escape Plan” is a movie that’s right in my wheelhouse, featuring two of my most favorite actors from my most favorite genre (Action!), and backed by a crazy concept and lots of fighting and action! action!! action!!! If this is not the greatest movie ever made, I have no idea what would be, and it is blowing my mind to think that this will actually be coming out soon. This is what I would be thinking anyway, if I were still twelve-years old. Ohhhhh to be twelve again.
Alas, it is 2013, and my favorite actors have grown old and have been replaced by other favorite actors with just a bit more range. And the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone have gotten so old (which was inevitable, by the way) could be detrimental to them because they still make primarily Action! movies, which also happens to be a genre that is no longer my favorite, as I am no longer a stupid child.
No, now I am a semi-stupid adult who likes a wee bit of story and character in my movies. Action is still cool and all…but it has to have a point. And THAT is when you know you are becoming an old fogey – when a high concept movie featuring the Terminator and Rambo doesn’t really you excited, when pure spectacle and blood letting and body counts and spent cartridges just don’t do it for you anymore without you know WHO exactly is getting killed or doing the killing, then THAT is the time to check in your youth card and go sit on a rocking chair in an old folks’ home and just wait for death to warm over you like a comfortable blanket.Continue Reading …
‘Realism’ in movies – where is the suspension of disbelief?
It is incredible how often people decry implausibilities in movies, allowing themselves to be drawn out of a movie’s spell by questioning every little thing about a story and how it is presented, declaring a movie to be shit because they “didn’t buy it.” But why does this happen? When did “realism” become so important to movie going audiences? Did we decide that we were all going to stop believing? Who told us that Santa wasn’t real anymore? Why did our balloon pop and how did it happen? What the fuck happened to our childhood?Continue Reading …
Talking Trailers: ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’
What in the what is this? Martin Scorsese seems determined to show that he can still bring the crazy movie making chops in his golden years, and it looks like he wants to show the young whipper snappers where its at. So here comes “The Wolf of Wall Street,” Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio’s fifth collabo, and they don’t look like they want to slow down.Continue Reading …
Guess what? We’re having twins! A bunch of ’em!
What the hell is going on this year? Look, this has happened in the past, don’t get me wrong. We all remember when “Volcano” and “Dante’s Peak” competed in 1997 for those volcano enthusiast dollars, right? Or when “Armageddon” showed “Deep Impact” what’s up at the box office in 1998? How about that battle of the talking pig movies in 1995 between “Babe” and “Gordy?”
It happens, we get it, every now and then these competing project get made at the same time. Sometimes its even a situation like last year’s double bill of “Lincoln” and “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.” Sad. But this year, what the hell is going on? 2013 is the year of the creative logjam apparently, too many minds working in the same subconscious soup, extracting the same information at the same time and making the same things, but different.Continue Reading …
Talking Trailers: ‘Gravity’
It has been far too long since the great director Alfonso Cuarón has graced our screens with one of his films – since “Children of Men” way back in 2006 to be exact – and with this short teaser trailer for his new sci fi flick “Gravity,” we finally get just a little taste of what we have been missing this whole time.
Just watch that trailer below and tell me you aren’t intrigued. Can’t be done, because it looks to awesome to not get your attention. And if you are familiar with “Children of Men,” you know that Cuarón favors these impossibly long one-take shots, which he will apparently be pushing even harder in “Gravity,” with rumors of at least one twenty-minute uninterrupted sequence with no cutaways of edits, and since it looks like most of this thing will be taking place in zero Gs in outer space, one can already imagine the drifting, floating, “weightless” camera work that will be employed throughout.Continue Reading …
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