‘Really Good Friends’ – An Interview with Adam Sekuler

Adam Sekuler is a filmmaker and educator based out of Detroit, and his short film “Really Good Friends” will be screening twice at the 2023 Florida Film Festival. In this quick interview, I ask him about how he came to this particular short film subject, and what his hopes are for the lifespan of this short and its abilities to be seen by larger audiences down the road.

Chris Crespo: How did you meet Mary Phillips and why did you decide her FWB situationship would make for a good documentary short?

Adam Sekuler: The interesting thing about Really Good Friends is that it came about in the process of making a feature film about Mary, one I wouldn’t be making if Mary had not invited me to make it. I was introduced to Mary in 2016 through my Aunt Rachel, who met Mary in a divorced women’s group. Aunt Rachel and Mary would travel from Salt Lake City, Utah to a tiny mountain town in Colorado to attend my film screenings. After seeing two of my projects, Mary approached me with the idea that I make a film about her community. When I discovered she was talking about the Salt Lake City BDSM community, I was unsure that this was the right project for me. The entry point of my films are not a subject matter or a community but a person and their lived experience. Two hours of conversation later, it was clear that I was going to make a film about Mary instead.

Her relationship in Really Good Friends has much of the essence of Mary and her character. She presents rather innocently as your run of the mill older woman, but as she unpacks her bag, she uppends all the assumptions that the audience brings with them into the film based solely upon how she looks. This is what attracted me to Mary in the first place.

CC: Given the puritanical nature of our society as well as the ageism evident throughout our culture, how do you expect and/or hope audiences will react to this film?

AS: The stories of older women are hardly represented in our mainstream culture. According to the Center for the Study of Women and Television in Film, “Only 6 percent of about 2,300 female characters in the 100 top U.S. films of 2019 were 60 or older.” Representations of women’s sexual experiences as they age are even further marginalized. Popular culture limits our view of female sexual desire, pleasure and sexiness to women in their 20s and early 30s.

Mary models an extraordinary attitude of freedom and exploration that we don’t often get to see older women express, whether in film or in the real world. As a wife, mother and grandmother, Mary fell into a common pattern among women her age: she sacrificed her sense of self, to caretake others. We hope that when women her age see this film, it gives them a framework for what it might mean to morph identities, to incorporate your old self into your new self, and to finally let go of the roles you used to play for others that are ultimately more fulfilling.

The plain fact of it is, sex is still a taboo subject, even in the realm of documentary film. Films made through the lens of celebrating sexual pleasure are rare. What’s even more rare is finding a character like Mary who is willing to cast ideas of “respectability” aside and tell this story from a brave and unique perspective.

CC: How do you hope to get this short film seen by people outside of the film festival circuit, or is that typically the full life span of documentary shorts?

AS: As we’ve screened in festivals, we’ve already received some interest in Really Good Friends finding a home via some streamers. Nothing has been fully negotiated yet, but there’s a chance that this film could garner a wider audience. Even if it doesn’t, this film helps seed interest in Mary as a character, paving the way for the feature film, which we expect to hit festivals as early as the end of the year. Keep an eye out for THE FLAMINGO.

Chris Crespo is a movie critic, writer and podcaster based out of Orlando, Florida. He hosts the weekly podcast Cinema Crespodiso, and has also made appearances on Doug Loves Movies, A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan, The Curtis Earth Show, and more. This is his 13th year covering the Florida Film Festival.

This interview was conducted via email.