Chris - Cinema Crespodiso - Page 115 of 153

Review: ‘A Walk Among the Tombstones’

Who ordered the grim detective noir story featuring rape, torture, mutilation, extreme blood loss, and Liam Neeson saying “Let’s get our eat ons together?” Because your order of “A Walk Among the Tombstones” is up and ready, hot and steamy and messy and in your face and not all that pleasant.

Based on a 90’s novel of some sort, part of a series of novels featuring the same character, “A Walk Among the Tombstones” is about some guy named Scudder (Neeson), an ex-NYC cop with a guilty conscious and 8 years of sobriety under his belt who works as an unlicensed private investigator. A drug trafficker hires Scudder to find out who kidnapped and killed his wife and before he knows it, Scudder finds himself sucked into a crazy plot involving other women brutally murdered in the past and possible future murders n the verge of happening unless he can do something about it.Continue Reading …

#89 – The Mystery of Drewster Cogburn

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In episode 89, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn review A Walk Among The Tombstones, The Maze Runner and Blue Ruin, while Chris reviews Tusk.

Also discussed in this episode:

a new Billy D’s Death at the Movies, Chris has had a hankering for bad movies, release dates for Fantastic Four, Assassin’s Creed, Deadpool and the next James Bond movie, the Universal Studios monster movies, and more!

Enjoy the show!

Review: ‘Tusk’

A sort of body-horror movie from the director of “Clerks” and “Chasing Amy,” here we are with a film in which an obnoxious man is given the “Misery” treatment by an old Canadian weirdo with designs to turn a human into a beast. A story that involves monetized podcasting, infidelity, convenience store workers, big gulp style beverages, a play on the phrase Not See, a serial killer and a sometimes cross-eyed homicide detective from Quebec, “Tusk” is possibly the weirdest movie to come out in theaters in quite a while, which is a good thing.

Written and directed by Kevin Smith, “Tusk” centers on a guy named Wallace (Justin Long), an LA-based podcaster with a show named The Not See Party, and it appears his show is a kind of audio version of Tosh.0 or any other rip off show centered on showing internet clips of people acting stupid and/or hurting themselves. And the name comes from the show having some wacky conceit in which Wallace goes out and interviews people and then comes back and tells his supposedly hodophobic co-host Teddy (Haley Joel Osment) about the interview, hence the “Not See” part of the show.

I kind of feel like Kevin Smith is shitting on podcasters, having the show being so crass and the hosts being so disgusting and unsympathetic to their fellow man, but then it is weird that the podcast is hugely successful, bringing in over $100,000 per year, and Wallace even goes so far as to note that this figure is based on ad sales alone and that he makes even more money on t-shirt sales and live events. Considering that there are thousands upon thousands of podcasts out there (including, well, you know, this one), most of them struggling and not making a dime let alone a lucrative salary, it is kind of telling that the podcast Smith presents is so successful because he made is own podcast and success came easy because well he’s Kevin fucking Smith. Funny how from his own experience he presents podcasting as a source of income whereas in the real world it is mostly a hobby for most folks, and he also equates it to 90’s talk radio style douche baggery.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘The Maze Runner’

So, like, there’s this maze, right? We’ll call it The Maze. And in the middle there is this, like, open glade area with trees and shit. We’ll call that The Glade. And there are all these teenage boys forced to live in The Glade in the middle of the Maze. And they like totally call themselves Gladers. Except for the new guys. They’ll call them Greenbeans. And Greenies! So the Gladers and Greenies live in the Glade in the middle of the Maze, which has weird monsters that they will caaaaallll…let’s see…I don’t know, fuck it, they’ll just call them Grievers, for why I have no idea. Because they grieve? Anyway, the Gladers also split themselves up as Builders and Slicers and Runners, and there’s a virus that causes The Changing, in which the infected, like, uh, changes. And there you go, boom, we got a story. That was easy, let’s go get something to eat.

End Scene.

That’s how I imagine the writing session for “The Maze Runner” took place. The whole movie, based on a popular (I guess, so I’ve read on the interwebz) young adult fiction sci-fi fantasy novel, is full of these archetypes, the characters have names for everything that exists within this universe and it gets really silly really fast when every time the main character Thomas turns around, someone else is telling, “This is such and such. We call it The Something” or whatever. There were even a couple of times where it felt like they could have given things more names and identifiers but didn’t do so and all I’m saying is why not go all out. “This is the time of day we get together and eat some food. We call it The Feedening.” Or how about “This is when we all go to sleep. We call it…The Sleeping.” Just keep doing it. Everything has a name.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘No Good Deed’

If you go over to the Rotten Tomatoes or the Metacritic or any other sort of review aggregator, you would see that the newest psychological battle-of-the-sexes thriller “No Good Deed” is just getting shit on left and right by pretty much everybody. Calling it things like “boring” and “derivative” and even trotting out “offensive” and “troubling” here and there, it would seem that this is one of the worst movies of the year. So am I here to throw additional dirt on the grave of this Idris Elba starring movie? Is this film really as bad as everyone is saying?

I will tell you what, I have seen movies worse than “No Good Deed” in just the last few weeks. Can I interest anyone in an additional screening of “The November Man?” How about “Let’s Be Cops?” No takers? Hmm, what a shock. Trust me when I tell you that “No Good Deed” is no worse than those movies, and actually might be better than both. It knows what it is and there really are not any pretensions from the filmmakers that this was going to be a bigger or deeper movie than it actually is. This is simply a thriller featuring a charismatic yet insane Idris Elba and a solid performance from Taraji P. Henson as the mother of two who ends up on the wrong end of Elba’s character’s wrath and anger.Continue Reading …

CCN – September 2014

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In this BONUS episode, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn talk about how a family of three could feel like they are barely getting by on $400,000 a year, how “minority” groups in America don’t trust the media, Satanists vs Satanists in Detroit, the listening habits of major universities across the country and more! Dig it, daddy-o!

Netflix pick for 9/15/14 – ‘Return of the Dragon’ a.k.a. ‘The Way of the Dragon’

“Return of the Dragon” is Bruce Lee’s final complete film and hey guess what it is awesome because Bruce Lee was a cinematic perfect storm of charisma and uniqueness which made him one of the most interesting movie stars of all time and this movie does well to feature much of his most excellent talents. It also builds up to an epic showdown at the Coliseum against a fella played by Chuck Norris, so if Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris doesn’t sell you on this movie, I don’t know what will.

Written and directed by Bruce Lee after the mega success of “Enter the Dragon,” this is a movie in which Lee plays a simple Chinese fella who stays with a relative in Rome to help them deal with the local mafia, as they have been putting the pinch on the family’s restaurant business. But when Bruce Lee’s Chen character shows up, everything goes wrong for the mafia, as despite seeming to be very naive and innocent, this guy is really a world class fighting machine, easily dispatching practically all challengers no matter how many there are or what weapons they have. That’s the worth of Chinese boxing, or else this movie would have you believe.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘The Drop’

“The Drop” is a small little crime drama that is more about reputation and name recognition within a certain segment of society than it is about any one crime in particular. Despite the trailer making this seem like a movie about a mob-backed bar being knocked off and the bar managers being tasked with finding out who did it, there is actually more going on with multiple characters and an old unsolved crime and a puppy that was thrown away but then saved and then got stuck in the middle of an ownership dispute and there’s something also about a church closing down but that doesn’t really matter. It’s well made and well acted, it just doesn’t add up to much in the end. It’s good, just not great. And there are worse things for a movie to be.

So Tom Hardy plays some guy named Bob and Bob is just a New York boy working for his cousin Marv (James Gandolfini’s last role) bartending at his little shitty tavern, a tavern that Marv operated but no longer owned. Apparently the local Chechen mob bought out Marv’s sometime ago and they really run the show. So when some punk kids rob the bar of $5,000, the Chechens go a little overboard in their mandate to Bob and Marv to recover the money.Continue Reading …

#88 – Organically Reached Title

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In episode 88, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn review The Drop and Chris reviews No Good Deed.

There is a new Billy D’s Death at the Movies, a new Netflix Instant Pick of the Week, and more!

Discussed in this episode:

Christian Mingle The Movie, Magnificent Seven remake, the new Batmobile, Kevin Smith vs Film Critics, Dredd prequel, Minority Report tv show, Mel Brooks movies and more!

The Crespodisco #12 – Epic Songs

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In this BONUS episode, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn talk about their favorite epic songs, all of them at least seven minutes long, all of them awesome and rocking and cool and crazy.

So get down with some musical odysseys and enjoy the show!