Cinema Crespodiso

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Review: ‘War Dogs’

WarDogs_MoviePosterAn indictment of the for-profit war machine and sloppy government pandering…from the director of “Road Trip” and “Old School” and “The Hangover” trilogy? It happened, and it is called “War Dogs,” a cinematic adaptation of this 2011 Rolling Stones article detailing how two twenty-something dudes from Miami managed to get rich off of fulfilling government contracts for military weapons and supplies. One guy was sociable and worked very hard, and the other was a sociopath with the big vision and gumption to make things happen, and they enabled each other to dream bigger than ever, which as we all know in a story like this, could only lead to ruin. But what a ride on the way there.

David (Miles Teller) is fresh out of dropping out of college and he’s trying to make ends meet while living in very expensive South Beach Miami by massaging rich men for $75 an hour and trying to sell bed linen to retirement communities. When his stupidly hot girlfriend (Ana de Armas) lets him know that she is pregnant, he finds added pressure on him to find a way to make money and be a provider to the woman he loves and the baby he is stuck with because come on it’s not like they planned that shit yo. And those very one-dimensional descriptions of her character are apt because she only exists in this movie to provide motivation for David and to try to get some sympathy from the audience. She’s not a character. She’s a plot device with ridiculous eyes.Continue Reading …

Op-ed: The Five Best Years in Cinema

Well so far 2016 hasn’t much to write home about, if one was in the habit of writing what would presumably be emails or maybe hand written letters, does anyone do that anymore, and while the year is not over, it does not look like 2016 will really be one to remember.

While excellent movies do come out every year, there are some years here and there that feel kind of weak when you look back on them and see that there wasn’t many inspiring films released in that particular span of 12 months (read: 2016). But then there are some years when it feels like the cinematic stars have all aligned in the heavens in such a way that there is an embarrassment of riches in the theaters, more films of superior quality than you can shake a stick at.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Beasts of the Southern Wild’

beasts_of_the_southern_wild“Beasts of the Southern Wild” is a fantastic movie, the feature-length debut of young filmmaker Benh Zeitlin, made in part with his New Orleans-based film group Court 13 Pictures, and it’s the type of unique and strong movie debut that makes people sit up and take notice, that this might be one of our next young exciting new voices in American cinema. And this wonderful thing, birthed outside of the studio system, outside of the box, independent in every way possible, exists as proof that imagination and new art and ambition is not dead, that we can still get something new and weird and great, something as strange and confident as “Beasts of the Southern Wild.”

The story centers on six-year old Hushpuppy (Quvenzhané Wallis) and her dad Wink (Dwight Henry), who live in a makeshift home in the ramshackle little town of Bathtub, located on an island south of the Louisiana coast. When a huge storm heads their way, they stay behind with a few other holdouts who choose not to evacuate their homes, and after an incredibly rough storm, the entire town of Bathtub is submerged underwater. The towns few survivors band together and try to continue living in their flooded home, refusing to seek aid or shelter elsewhere. These are people thoroughly accustomed to living on their own and getting by in their own ways, so to them a government run disaster shelter is its own kind of horrible hell.Continue Reading …

Spillover Bonus Episode – Extra! Extra!

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In this spillover movie news bonus episode, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn talk about:

– Sausage Party animators claim poor work conditions.

– John Williams officially signed on to score episode 8 of Star Wars.

– Another Chronicles of Narnia movie is coming.

– McG provides update on Masters of the Universe

– Guillermo Del Toro is making a low budget horror film.

– The Nightly Show has been cancelled.

– Mr. Robot renewed for Season 3.

Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Battleship’

battleship_ver12Let’s get this out of the way, right up front: we all know “Battleship” is preposterously based on a plotless, characterless board game that involves yelling out random letters and numbers, so to expect a good movie out of this would seem to be a fool’s errand. With the whole thing reeking of “cashing in,” thanks to the ridiculous financial success of another film franchise based on a toyline, maybe it doesn’t even need to be said that “Battleship” is a dumb, spectacle-first, story-last, explosion laden, typical summer hunk of crap of the first order. But then again, who said it had to be this way?

Though Battleship: the Board Game is itself a truly iconic game, spanning generations and entertaining everyone with it’s simple yet addictive mechanics, there really is very little about the game that one would expect in a feature film. There’s the grid structure and guessing dynamic of the game, and the catch phrase “You sunk my battleship,” and that’s it. So theoretically, it would actually be pretty simple to come up with a naval based story that somehow incorporates these elements, and on paper, Peter Berg and writers Jon and Erich Hoeber’s approach of using an alien menace as the antagonists is fairly brilliant, allowing them to come up with alien technology in their story that would necessitate the use of the board game’s well known game play and also giving them plenty of room to come up with their own characters and story arcs; with such a blank slate to work with, these guys really could have told any story they wanted to, all dressed up in the guise of blockbuster entertainment.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Apollo 18’

Apollo18MoviePosterThe “found footage” mockumentary genre has been going surprisingly strong since “The Blair Witch Project” popularized the filmmaking style in the 1990’s, and it was only a matter of time before the genre found its way into outer space. In what might be the first totally lunar-based horror film, “Apollo 18” purports to be an assemblage of discovered NASA footage detailing a secret Moon mission and revealing the apparent horrors that have prevented humans from returning.

Three astronauts go up in Apollo 18 in a secret mission to plant little radars for the Department of Defense, apparently to help keep an eye on Soviet missiles that might come their way. Once at the moon, John Grey (Ryan Robbins, AVPR: Aliens vs Predator – Requiem) stays in the spacecraft in orbit, and the lunar module is taken down by Ben Anderson (Warren Christie, Bachelor Party 2: The Last Temptation) and Nathan Walker (Lloyd Owen, The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles). After they touch down, Anderson and Walker set on their two-day mission to install the DoD radars and motion sensor cameras, though they never explain why these cameras are installed (obviously it’s so we can have a movie in the first place, but still, they never explain it and the astronauts don’t question it). Very quickly, these two guys discover that something is a little strange on the surface of the moon, and the cameras catch little glimpses of movement here and there, and it’s a slow burn to the gradual reveal of what’s really going on.Continue Reading …

Netflix pick for 8/15/16 – ‘The Princess Bride’

princess_brideAs heard in episode 188 of Cinema Crespodiso.

“The Princess Bride” is a romantic fantasy comedy action drama from 1987 and if that makes your head spin, it should. In this movie, a supposedly immortal pirate contends with a swordsman, a giant, rodents of unusual size, shrieking eels, torture machines, pits of despair, fire swamps, a six-fingered man, a dastardly prince, all in the name of true love, and damn it all to hell if it just doesn’t all come together as one of the most satisfying movies ever.

First off, this movie has Andre the Giant in it, and that is reason enough to watch this thing. That dude was for real one of a kind, and this movie makes great use of his physique and natural charm and works as a great showcase for who this guy was and why he captured the minds and hearts of so many people for so many years. Plus other folks in this movie like Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Chris Sarandon and Christopher Guest do some of their best work ever, and at one moment legends Billy Crystal and Carol Kane pop up to add the extra little bit of oomph to the whole thing. Continue Reading …

#188 – Rational Satanism

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In episode 188, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn are joined by first time guest and friend of the show Gabe (www.twitter.com/RageAgainstTwit).

Chris, Drew and Gabe review Sausage Party and Pete’s Dragon.

The Netflix Instant Pick of the Week is The Princess Bride.

Dr. Drew gives his two cents on seeing Sausage Party.

Billy D reviews The Night Of on HBO.

The Crespodisco features a song from the Pete’s Dragon soundtrack and one from the Sausage Party soundtrack.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Sausage Party’

SausageParty_Poster“Sausage Party” is the story of how a fella named Frank goes on a journey of discovery, as he always “knew” one truth about The Great Beyond but then suddenly was presented with evidence that showed him something else, something that propelled him to figure out what really awaits everyone in the next world, and he becomes determined to take this new information and let everyone else know about it so they can all be in on the grand ultimate truth together.

You see, when things start out, Frank (Seth Rogen) and Brenda (Kristen Wiig) are just a couple of lovebirds waiting for the correct, predetermined time for them to be able to consummate their love, and they are surrounded by like-minded folks all wanting the same thing. And near them are other groups, with differences throughout but still all united under one common theme – awaiting The Great Beyond. In The Great Beyond they know they only have good things waiting for them, and these good things change depending on what each group wants, but it all boils down to “good times for all.” Everyone is so excited for the grandness of The Great Beyond that they are desperate to get their soon, hoping every morning that would be the day they are chosen to move on.Continue Reading …

Review: ‘Pete’s Dragon’

PetesDragon_MoviePoster]“Pete’s Dragon” is the surprisingly sad story of a young boy who lives in the forest with a big green dragon, and it would have been a fun and light story if the whole thing wasn’t drenched in a feeling of separation anxiety and gloominess as the story of Pete is one of a childhood lost and moving on from innocence into a  worldly-tainted adulthood without magic or presumably joy. In old school Disney fashion, like the animated films of the 30s and 40s, this new “Pete’s Dragon” is here to entertain but does so in a dark way, filled with death and abandonment and dark forces working actively to deprive the young hero of their source of comfort and joy.

After an opening scene involving a car accident in the middle of nowhere which results in an instant orphan being hunted by wolves and then being saved and adopted by a giant green dragon, we jump forward six years, and this kid is now about 10 years old or so and running around the forest barefoot and shirtless, dirty and long haired, climbing trees and catching rabbits barehanded, completely adapted to his environment and at wild lifestyle. It helps that he has a big loyal dragon helping him out and getting his back when predators might stroll up. This is the story of Pete (Oakes Fegley) and his dragon Elliot, which is really just a big ole dog with wings, making him quite lovable.Continue Reading …

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